Who is a well behaved child? A kid who sits on being asked to or cleans up his dinner plate spotless when ordered to? There are a million definitions of a well behaved child and every parent has their own take to add up to this list of definitions.
If you were to ask me, I do not go by this phrase of a well behaved child. It seems too rigid and stringent for me. I myself wasn’t a well behaved child as per the society standards so, I will never make my son go by that orthodox rule book. Yes, the need for discipline is vital in one’s life but, not at the cost of having claustrophobic rules.
I was given a lot of freedom by my parents. I was free to make my own educational choices, my career choices (even though I stumbled and stuttered en number of times before finding my passion) and I was also given the liberty to choose my own life partner. Had my parents been strict and conservative, my life would have been something different now. They gave me the opportunity to take lead of my life and to make mistakes and to correct those mistakes too. And I still feel that in spite of not being confined to rules, I am pretty ‘well behaved’.
So, this is naturally my parenting style too. I follow certain things with Riaan and that will always be the case. I can vouch for the fact that he will turn out fine in his life with these methods just as I have 😊.
Things to keep in mind while trying to instill discipline in a child
- Do what you want your child to do – Children follow by example rather than endless lectures. Children are very visual in nature. They see and observe everything that you do and follow it. So if I try to stick by this as much as I can because I know my son is watching me and in no way does it mean that I don’t have my moments of slips and my rough days.
- Do not portray that you are perfect – nobody on the face of this earth is perfect. Let’s face it. At some level, your child too will understand that eventually. Be yourself, apologize to your baby if you make a mistake.
- Give the freedom for your child to say no – by doing this, you are teaching your child to have their own opinion and not become a doormat. If your child says no for something important then you need to make them understand the need to do that particular thing or the significance of that task which he is refusing to perform.
- Teach them ownership – teach your child that making mistakes are okay. The takeaway here should be for then to own up to that mistake and to correct it.
- Teach them to respect other people – here by the term respect, I mean genuinely realizing the value of their family, avoid judging and shaming other people and avoid mean remarks towards others. I am not at all of that belief where you touch someone’s feet with a heart full of vile. It is better to not pretend.
- Entertain their curiosity – I totally understand that sometimes their questions can make you go bonkers but, that is how s growing child is. Everything is new for them so, there are going to be a lot of questions. Listen to then, address their question and answer if you know. If you do not know the answer, do not hesitate to tell them that you will look it up and get back to them and ensure to give them an answer later. By this, you are doing two things; you are acknowledging them (they too will acknowledge others) and you are conveying that you too do not know everything on the face of this earth (teaching them to not over expect from others).
- Give them a lot of hugs and kisses – Now you must be wondering how this is related to being well behaved. Don’t you want to teach your child to love freely? This is just that. You are teaching your child to value people who are important in their life and you are teaching them to express that love without any inhibitions.
- Let them be – Don’t always burden them with the pressure of behaving in a particular fashion. They are children after all. They will make mischief, tire you out entirely, make a mess of the house and will bring the roof down. Let them do all of that. Just ensure that learn how to clean up after themselves. Make them independent. At times, join them in their chaos and believe me, both of you will enjoy it.
If my son learns even five out of these eight pointers, then I will consider myself to have succeeded as a parent. This is my definition of being a well-behaved person. I know it is quite contradicting to the set standards of behavior but, so be it 😎. I was brought up like this and this is my parenting style.
Did you resonate to my ways? What is your definition of a well-behaved person. Drop a line and tell me. I would love to know your views too. It will help me gain a broader perspective of things 😊.
Myself, with a group of fantastic mommies are on a blog train hosted by Prisha Lalwani. I would like to thank Gayatri for introducing me. You can read her blog here. It gives me pleasure to introduce my fellow mommy blogger Romila. Head here to read her blog.